The right reason and the wrong reason to be in a relationship

We all want to be loved, and most of us are looking for someone to share our life with – the one partner. But not everyone is doing this for the same reason. 

And to be honest, the majority search for their match for a reason, that in the long run, is not supportive of love and relationship. Let’s take a look: 

The research actually starts at the beginning, at a point, where it is very likely that we are playing games. Easy to get, distance and close, all these things, just to avoid to show our real feelings. And we might think that this happens because we want to make sure we are not losing our face, we do not get leftover with no love at all. But in fact, there is something more to that: the fact, that there is nothing else on this earth than one thing that we need and want to get from our partner: love. So the not showing off is a manipulation, to trick the significant other into showing off, so we don’t have to. 

The problem with this one is: we are going into a relationship out of a position of need. We need something from our partner, we are incomplete without having it. So the relationship from the early stages starts on a quite dangerous basis. Because every I love you we say is connected to a condition – that the significant other loves us back, which we want to be sure about before we say it. Fact is: to build up a relationship from scratch to be successful, the result cannot be implied. Meaning – we should love the significant other no matter of that person loving us back or not. This is when love becomes free when being in the relationship becomes a choice and everything you add to it becomes a gift. Can you see the difference? It is obvious. 

So how to reach this level of relationship? First of all, you have to make sure you fully accept and love yourself, you have to make sure you think you are enough. This as a starting point makes you independent from outside feedback – meaning – it does not matter if the significant other loves you back or not. You still know that you are ok and can furthermore give love. Also to this person. No matter what. Since you are love now, nothing can harm you. And once you reach this level, people reflecting just this will be attracted into your life, people that naturally fit. People, that want to be with you and stay. 

Lots of love,
Tina