Do your relationships have a healthy balance between giving and taking??

To make sure that you are in a healthy relationship – no matter if friends, colleagues, or partners in crime – you have to make sure that you will establish a healthy balance of giving and taking. 

Funnily, in business, that comes to us just naturally. We go to a shop, we pick something up and in order to be able to leave the shop with the item, we will pay for it. Right? In a relationship, that, unfortunately, is not always this way. And I am not talking about narcissistic or toxic relationships here, in this article, I would like to just take a look at everyday relationships. And still, they tend to fall out of balance. 

Why is that so? John Gray has a simple explanation in his books, and I would like to pick up parts of it for that matter. He says: men and women give points for every task that the partner is doing. That sounds kind of fair right? Well, it is not that simple. Women give the same number of points (1) for whatever he is doing. So no matter, if he does the dishes or he, buys her an expensive trip, one point for each. So he would have 2 points. She will apply the same calculation for tasks that she does for him: like cooking, doing the bed, cleaning the house, taking care of the kids… and she has already 4 points, so she would expect him to catch up. Without her mentioning. 

For him, the matter is a little bit different. He gives himself 1 point for the dishes, but 100 points for the trip. So he thinks he is so far ahead in the balance, that he does not have to do anything anymore. In other words: men make a difference whether they fulfilled a small task or a big one. 

And here is one additional problem to that: women do not stop to give, even though the balance is completely lost. She will keep on going up to a point, where she gets completely angry at him, and he might not even know what she is talking about, as for him, if he thinks that she has to catch up, he simply would stop giving. 

So far the theory. Sounds complicated? The good thing about it: once you are aware of this, you are able to bring it up and talk about it. And find a solution. For better balance, better love, and healthy relationships. 

#loveofyourlife #love #❤️