Dying, death and death wish – and what it has to do with love

Just recently I had a conversation with a friend, and he was in a very bad state. His business was not fluctuating the way he wanted to and his relationship ended in a real mess, and one could see the sadness, the lostness and the depression shining through. 

In this conversation, he mentioned that he thought about killing himself. Not in a way that this seemed to be a crying for help, more in a very reflected and calm way. A personal escape if you wish so. And I remember sadness filing my body. The feeling that I got when talking about this: what a sign of ingratitude, what a sign of betrail of the universe. 

It is not the first person telling me such thing over the end of a relationship, they do not want to live any longer, but don’t worry, all of them are still alive. But it made me think – why do we so much depend on someone else to make us happy, to feel alive – or to feel the need of fully embracing the gift of life?

That made me think about death as such. Death, who is always with us, from the moment we are born, we just don’t like to admit it, we don’t like to feel the presence. But on the other hand, as we do not fully accept the presence of death, in the same way, we do not fully embrace the feeling of being alive in this very moment. When we fall in love, we feel the aliveness creeping through our veins, and when the loved one for whatever reason leaves our life, we want to die, because we have lost our only source of feeling alive. And some tend to repeat this cycle whether to their physical death or until the find life, meanwhile they are living. 

See, here lies a huge problem when it comes to relationships: we are so afraid of losing the love, the feeling alive, the other person, that we tend to do one of the following things: whether we completely bend and stretch, just to make the relationship happen no matter what, even though in fact, it is not a real fit, or we do not truly engage by giving our all, our best, our love, fully. We kind of stay closed for love. But in fact, both ways are not working: number one, because you just simply give too much, forget about who you really are and end up empty and drained. And second, well this will not destroy you that much, but if you do not indulge into love, if you do not really give it all in, you never will experience true happiness, because – for both examples – it comes down to one thing: noone is loved for who they really are. Number one, because they change, number two, because they do not show. 

Sad story. So what to do about this? We have to learn to let life happen, fully embrace it. Give it our all, our best. Stop being afraid, but instead, love as if there is no tomorrow. (what would you tell your loved one, if you knew it was your last day today?) Live with the presence of death, that is not your enemy, but your friend, as every day it shows you again and again – that YOU ARE ALIVE, THAT YOU ARE LIFE. So embrace it. Love it. Live it. And love as much as you can, full in. That is the only way to experience life and this is your purpose: BE LIFE. 

Lots of love.
Tina