Mirror, mirror on the wall…

And what this fairy tale sequence has to do with our relationships. 

Relationships are like fairy tales, or at least this is what we would like them to be. Prince meets princess, they fall in love, they marry, found a family and are happy ever after. But reality shows: it is not very likely to be that way, in fact, if you think so, you are the victim of your own illusion. Because not even fairy tales are like this, both, the prince and princess have to go through some struggles before they can be together happily ever after.  

Snow White and the seven dwarfs is a story about the ego, that was so strong, that the queen was ok to even kill Snow White. She looked in the mirror and did not like what she saw there, or in the fairy tale, what the mirror told her. This very much happens in our relationships as well. So as the queen did not like when the mirror told her she was not the most beautiful woman in the world, she got offended, because she could not accept the truth, so she put up a fight against what the mirror was reflecting on her – Snow White, who was prettier. That metaphor, of course, does not work 1:1, but let’s jump into reality and take a look at an every day’s situation: 

Imagine: you had a very bad day at your job, nothing worked the way it was supposed to, you are stressed, you have a ton of stuff in your mind going on. You come home, and the only thing you want to do is disconnect. Sit down, do nothing. Relax. Forget what happened. So you enter your home with this overwhelming of energy and are confronted with your partner, that is in a completely different mood, who would like to spend some exclusive time and there it is: you bump into each other and one thing leads to another, she asks something (btw, the situation might escalate if this question is about what he failed to do), his answer was rougher then it should be, she feels like hit by a car and reflects that overwhelming energy because she in fact did not have it in the first place and does not know what how to deal with it, it entered to fast. And he thinks: I had that kind of a rough day, and all she has for me is this, no understanding, nothing, just negativity? Meanwhile, she does not even know what happened to her. Ever been there before?

This is a very common situation, that in quite a number of cases, leads to a breakup because both parties do not feel understood, not heard. And other than having a big belly or bad skin, unfortunately, the state of mind does not reflect in the mirror. In fact, if we see a big belly in the mirror, we immediately know that we need to change our nutrition habits, our way of exercising… but in the case of the mind, and in relationships, we continue to try to change the mirror, because we cannot see that or partner is nothing but a reflection of who we are at that point of time. “The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you” (Rumi). The same goes for the ugly. No one enters a relationship to punish the other one, but somehow, we seem to believe our partners constantly want the worst for us. Unfortunately, we are not able to understand that in fact, that it is not the mirror, that needs to be changed but the one that is reflected. 

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Lots of LOVE!

Tina