SR Live Talk Part 2: What to do when bringing negative emotions to your relationship?

Today, I was stopped out at a crossing, because there was an accident in the middle of the road, and unless the damage seemed to be minor, the 2 people involved screamed, almost like their intention was to kill each other. I was thinking – wow, what a hell of a day that must be for both of them.

Hand on your heart, be honest: did you ever experience situations like this? It must not be necessarily something that big like an accident, but someone doing you wrong in just a very everydays situation, and you were not able to let go of the emotional impact and brought it back to your home. And maybe reacted to your partner in a way, they did not deserve it.

This is life happening to us. And congratulations – once you realize that you bring this negativity back to your home, you are ahead of the ones who think it is not about them, but everybody else it just acting super weird that one particular day, not realizing that it is ultimately them, still hanging on that one incident.

So, if you already know about your state of mind and emotions, what can you do about it to make it a bit easier for your partner?

What I am saying now might seem a bit difficult at first, I know. I understand that maybe, the only thing you want is being left alone to calm down and let go of this emotion. And now, here I come and ask you to make it easier for your partner when all you really want is to care for yourself.

Being in a relationship puts one extra on us: ideally, our responsibility expands and we learn to think for ourselves, but also for our partners. So this makes us understand, that our partner does not necessarily understand what causes this negativity in us. So what we can do to make it easier for them, is letting them know. And if it is nothing more then telling them: I need some space for myself now – it is a good start. That will improve your relationship massively, so if you can, you might want to give it a try.

And for the partner? Remember: you are responsible for yourself, and it is not your partner that needs to make you happy. So now is your time to take care of yourself and do something that brings you joy. On your own.

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