General

You are the most important person in your life. Are you?

Once you are ready to love yourself, to take care of yourself, and to make yourself happy, you will find yourself in the position to be needless. That was discussed in an earlier blog post. But what happens next?

This is most certainly the time when you notice: what I accepted in my life was not always the best for me, there were things that didn’t truly made me happy. Or – you feel exhausted, because you say yes too much, and therefore, don’t have enough time for doing what makes you happy. But what to do about that?

Obviously, you have to learn to say no, to set some boundaries. And I know this is really hard for some of us, a true challenge. Why is that so?

Sometimes, we are seeking other people’s approval, we want to recieve other people’s love, and this is why it is so hard for us to say no to them. That is our education, we learned that, so we now are wired like this. So the moment when we take better care of ourselves, and we do not depend so much on other people’s approval and love, we suddenly understand that what we did without even questioning it, was maybe not fitting into our life, into what makes us happy.

And this is when we start to feel „I don’t want to do that“ for the first time. It’s important to give this feeling space and to set boundaries. You have taken responsibility for yourself, and you need other people to do the same.

Setting boundaries is hard. People will not immediately accept them, as they are used to you not having them. They will try to get you doing what they wish. Respect yourself enough to not give in. But respect others and be nice when you set your boundaries, they are not about them, they are about you. Maybe, if it is just a time-inconvenience, offer them another moment that fits you better.

Why are boundaries important to your relationship? Boundaries protect you from pain and unhappiness and they show your partner how you need and deserve to be treated. So think about them well, understand what you need and want, communicate them in a loving way, but do not weaken them up just to keep someone, to stay in something, that does not make you happy.

Need some help? Book a free call:

Lots of love,

Tina

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